Okay folks. Let’s get one thing straight. If you embrace the Mooncup (or a similar menstrual cup) into your life and nether regions, you’re going to see some stuff.
Now, look, everyone who has a period has dealt with splatters and leaks (I refuse to believe there is one human woman who has not messed up her sanitary care products during the course of her menstruating career) but the Mooncup brings your exposure to the realness of it all to a whole new level, and you’re going to need to come to terms with that.
Secondly, you’re going to get all up in the business of your bits and pieces, and that’s therapy, my friends.
For a few days every month, at least to start off with, you’ll just think about your vagina and all appendages as an elaborate plumbing system you need to manoeuvre and manipulate to have your wicked way.
Oh hang on, isn’t that exactly how we should all be thinking about our vajay-jay? Like, all the time?
But listen, it’s all good! You own this thing! Lifetime lease! Why not get to actual grips with what it’s all about, and simultaneously save the planet, one forgotten tampon at a time!
The Mooncup brings your exposure to the realness of it all to a whole new level, and you’re going to need to come to terms with that.
I have been a Mooncup devotee for going on a decade, after a good friend gave it to me as a birthday gift. (We have a special friendship, environmental activism, waste reduction and bodily anatomy chat is sort of our unique love language.)
What are the benefits?
I wanted to cut down on my plastic use – just LOOK at how much packaging is associated with tampons (the non biodegradeable applicators! The plastic wrapping!) and sanitary pads – as well as reducing the chemical and perfume content of anything that was going near my bits.
But, I didn’t reckon on the other benefits – ladies, you are cutting down the number of required period accessories massively – no more tampons falling out of handbags or shoved up your sleeve – oh no!
The Mooncup comes with its own discreet muslin baggie, which you can just pop somewhere safe and have to hand when the need arise.
And money saving alert! It’s also a one-time purchase – two-time if you start using, then have a baby or you know, age, which I am told we are wont to do.
How do you use it?
The Mooncup comes in two sizes to fit the cervix (science!). You just have to trim the stem of it to fit your own body and you are good to go.
I sterilise mine between each cycle – Caitlin Moran famously puts hers in the dishwasher because of course she does.
Your first few uses will take some fiddling – there is an art to folding the cup just so, allowing it to fit and get into position – but after that, much like a tampon, you will not even know it’s there.
If you’re out and about and need to change it (it generally needs changed every 5-8 hours depending on your flow) have a bottle of water to hand so you can give it a little rinse before reusing.
But yes, you’re going to see blood each time you empty this beauty – and, if you’re anything like me, become weirdly fascinated by it.
The changing colour! The intriguing consistency! I am woman, hear me roar!
Just don’t do what my Mooncup – gifting friend did, and show her husband the contents (at his request!) Poor chap had to go for a lie down on the couch for the rest of the afternoon.
So there you go folks, the reality of choosing a menstrual cup and a plastic-free period.
Would you use one?
You can order yours from mooncup.co.uk, or pick one up in health food stores nationwide.
Review by Martha Halbert.